Happy Friday Everyone!!

Now I'm not exactly sure how many people read my blog, probably minimal at best, but Happy Friday to you all anyways! I haven't blogged in quite awhile because I am not quite up on the whole blogging thing yet. I'm trying to get used to it and improve my blogging skills. I just don't always know what to talk about.

Anyways...life has been pretty good lately. My birthday was last Sunday so now I am the big
2-2! Yay me (and mom and dad for having me) :)! No, I don't feel any older and I'm pretty sure I don't look any older. My birthday has been a sad/happy day for me the last 6 years. As some of you may know my father died of a heart attack on June 29, 2002 so he has not physically seen me have a birthday since I was 15. It's sad, but I know he is watching from heaven. I spent the day mostly alone with the exception of dinner with my family and my best friend Liz. It was an ok day but one that I sometimes would like to forget and just have it be another day on the calendar. I know I have no control over it, but I wish he could've been there. It would've lit up my day more than anyone could imagine.

My friends and I are what I consider to be better than ever! We are going strong. We have our arguments just like everyone, but after those arguments our relationship seems to be better then before. I know that people get busy and don't always have time to share their thoughts and feelings and I am guilty of that as well, but sometimes you just need to take the time. That's what counts. I love all of my friends and wouldn't change them or any of the experiences that we've had for anything. Everything that has happened in my life has made me who I am today and I am greatful for that.

I am currently in a relationship and I won't go into too much detail because I really don't want to, but it's going pretty good. It's different from my past relationships, but in a good way. I'm kind of scared and I know I shouldn't be, but things haven't been this good in awhile. There are challenges in every relationship and I am willing to deal with those, as anyone who loves their significant other should be. If anyone reading this would like more details, just ask. I may or may not choose to share them with you, but it's worth a shot right? I don't want to post them for the whole blogging community because I'm not exactly sure who all reads this, but feel free to inquire. I'm not trying to hide anything by any means, but it's a different sort of situation.

Anyways, I decided that I should probably blog today because I haven't in awhile. So I hope some people get around to reading the blog and I will come back soon to blog again!

Thanks everyone!!!

Sable

Confused...

Ok...I know I'm only about to turn 22 years old and I'm not supposed to have all the answers, but I wish I had a clue what's going on! I feel like everyone that is my friend or claims to be a friend is turning against eachother. One says that the other one uses me and the other one says the same thing about the first one. Who's lying? One? Both? I don't know anymore. I am starting to think that people live life for themselves, that they don't give a hoot about other people. Not that you shouldn't live your life for yourself, but should you step on other people to get what you want? I don't think so. Maybe I am the minority then. They are out to see what they can get from life, to see what they can get from people. It's starting to seem like almost everyone I know is a mooch. They always want one thing or another. Is it fair? Absolutely not! I know that I have a huge heart and would give anything for any of my friends. But their comments towards eachother make me wonder if they would be willing to do the same for me. I would literally give the shirt off my back to any one of my friends in a heart beat, but would they do that for me? I know that not all people are like that, but it makes me wonder. I don't want people to read this and feel sorry for me, but I had to get it out. I have a headache from thinking about it so much. It's like I want to turn my phone off and shut out all of my friends and just be with my family until I figure out who is real and who is fake. At this point I don't know what else to do. I am lost, confused, I feel used, and I don't know what else to do. At nearly 22 years old I have a nicer car then most "kids" my age, I have a decent job, and have lended my friends lots of money totalling hundreds of dollars. Was it the smartest thing to do? Probably not, but we all make mistakes. Some of them have been honest and trustworthy and paid it back, and others never will, but it just goes back to if I was in the same position if they would be all that willing to do the same. I am just fed up at this point. Why do some people feel the need to try and tear others down to bring themselves up? It doesn't make sense to me. Get to where you want to be because you got there on your own, not because you stepped on someone else on the way up!

Well...I think I am done for the night. My head is about to explode.

Sable

Sorry for my absence...

So...it's been a little while since I have blogged and I do apologize. I decided to blog today to update on some current issues in my life. First and formost: the grandparents divorce was final on Wednesday and it is just what grandma needed. It has only been 5 months and it happened to be 5 months to the day that the divorce was final. It took less than 15 minutes and they were out of court.

On to other things...one of my ex boyfriends, who I have tried to keep in contact with ever since we broke up, contacted me via myspace. We never really had a bad break up, it was just mutual really. He was my first love and I do still have feelings for him, but that's beside the point. He is now married and has three beautiful children and I would never do anything to break that up. That's not who I am. Anyways, I sent him a message just asking how things are going and that sort of thing and I get a message back that I totally didn't expect. He is in Iraq, which I knew because I do talk to his mom from time to time and she told me. He went on to say that he apologizes for the way things happened in the past and that he wishes things were different, but being over there has made him take a look at life and how fast things can just be gone. His family no longer supports him and what he is doing over there and it made me really sad. He said that he didn't want to see me when he was home on leave because he was afraid that I would do the same thing to him. He did say though that he remembers when I would always tell him that he could talk to me about anything and I would always be there for him. That touched my heart more than anything and meant so much more than he will probably ever know. I felt so much better after we sent a few messages back and forth. He is 8 hours ahead of my time here in Wisconsin, so it's already Monday there, but he hopes to get online and talk to me tomorrow.

I am just so relieved that he thinks and knows that he can talk to me. That makes me feel really good.

I will blog again soon!

Sable

Just for Hallie and the Twomey clan!!

Hallie I know that times are tough right now, but things are going to be ok. John will pull through after his surgery and CJ will make the right choice whatever that may be. You are such a strong woman and I admire you for that. You have a lot on your plate right now and you deal with it so well. Connor must be one heck of a kid as well to be hanging in their with the rest of you! :)

I thought you and the family might like some more Murphy pictures so I decided today was the day to post some more. We are hoping that John makes it home from the hospital soon and makes a fast recovery. I know that in the past it hasn't been easy or fast, but maybe this time will be different. Let me know if there is anything I can do to help! I will try my best!!

Playing outside...

Laying in bed...

Murphy was show and tell for my 5 year old cousins birthday...

Murphy decided to take a rest on my pants as I was getting ready...

Update

So...I haven't posted in quite awhile once again. Things have been looking up lately. I have been offered a full time Work Study Position for the summer semester and I have recently put my resume online at careerbuilder.com. I received an email from a company who is interested in interviewing me for a job and I am hoping that all goes well. The interview is set for the 14th of this month so keep your fingers crossed.

Ben is coming home next Friday and I am really excited about that. The week and a half or so that he will be home is going to be really busy. Monday the 14th I have my interview in the evening, Tuesday I have to work and after work I'm going out for Sarah's birthday, Friday we're going out for Sarah's birthday again, and Saturday we're going to the casino before Ben goes back. So it will be a crazy time.

Well, Hallie and Chauncey over at Wonderful World of Wieners have inspired these next pictures. I think that Murphy and Chauncey are somehow related. :) So...here goes!

This is his dark strip in his coat. I'm told it's called a wild boar pattern. Hopefully it will stay even when he gets older because I think it's really cute.

His cute puppy paws. Aw!!! :)

I still think he is the most velvety puppy ever!! Just look at these ears!

This is Murphy with Auntie Liz's brand new really expensive shirt/dress on. Isn't he just adorable?

This is Murphy starting a new trend of bags around the neck. He likes to look inside bags and check them out and he usually gets them stuck around his neck kind of like this.

And last but not least this is Murphy dancing which is something he does quite often actually!

Well I hope everyone got their Murphy fix for now and there will definately be more to come in the future. He is almost 5 months old! On Sunday he will be 5 months old. I can't even believe it.

~Sable~

I hate snow!

For the record...I do infact hate snow! It snowed again last night/this morning and it just reminded me how much I hate snow. Don't get me wrong, I love living in Wisconsin. I just hate the snow. I know, I know, it's part of the package, but I hate the package just incase anyone cares!

Work is very boring today, and yes I am being paid to type this blog right now because there isn't anyone else here and there is no work to be done. So...I can't even talk to anyone else because there isn't anyone here. So here I sit at my desk listening to the radio online and trying to think of things I can possibly do. I've visited Myspace and Facebook 1,000 times too many today and I've run out of websites to look at. What better time to blog than the present?

Oh! I forgot to mention that my brother might be getting deployed. I am not happy about this, but if it's what he wants then I wish him all the best. He is up for deployment, but he put himself on the volunteer list. They are taking the first 3 volunteers and he is volunteer #4. So if someone backs out or gets disqualified then he gets/has to go (however you want to put it). If he goes he will either be going to Qatar or Kyrgyzstan. Neither are good, but they are better than Iraq or Afghanistan. If I had to pick where he goes I would have to go with Kyrgyzstan. Unfortunately I don't get to pick because if I did he would stay in good ol' Nebraska. I understand that for some military personnel to feel like they are actually serving their country, they want to be in the heat of battle, in the middle of something. I will support my brother no matter what. Am I happy that he volunteered? No but it's not about me. It's about him and what he wants to do. It's his life and he makes the choices. If he does go I will pray harder than I have ever prayed before and hope that he makes it home safe. The kind of good news is that he would go for about 4 months, so compared to the Army's 16 month deployments it should be a cake walk (when comparing the length of time).

Well...I guess I could dig up some more pictures of Murphy because if I don't I know a certain blogger that would probably skin me alive. So these are the pictures that I have chosen for the blog today. Hope you enjoy!!!

He is so photogenic!

He seems to like toys that are twice his size if not bigger.

This is his favorite thing to do. Nap!

Oh look! He happens to be napping again!

Rough Weekend...

So...this weekend was kind of rough. We will start with Thursday. I went to hang out with Sarah in the afternoon on Thursday and help her finish packing for her trip to Nationals in Colorado Springs, CO for boxing. After hanging out with Sarah, I went to Liz's house to make dinner with her and Naquan. We usually have dinner together once a week. It's a little tradition we wanted to get going and we started it about a month or so ago. So after we were done eating I got a frantic call from Sarah saying that her mom was supposed to drive her to the airport in Milwaukee early in the morning on Friday, but she could no longer bring her. I was Sarah's only other option and I had plans. Luckily, I was able to rearrange some things so that I could bring her to the airport. So...I had to hurry up and take a midterm online, find directions to the airport, and go to bed as early as possible because I had to get up at 3AM!! So...I did my midterm, got the directions, and attempted to go to bed around 11:30 but Liz was talking on the phone. She talked on the phone until atleast 12:30AM! That's the last time I remember looking at the clock. I was upset because she knew I had to get up at 3 and still continued to talk on the phone. I had my alarm set for 3AM so of course I woke up at 2:30 and tried falling back to sleep. I would fall asleep and wake up 5 minutes later so I decided to just get up and get ready. I went to Sarah's apartment and helped her carry all her bags and things to the car. We started our 3 hour journey to Milwaukee. I don't like big city driving, so I just about had a meltdown driving through Milwaukee.

So Sarah and I got her tickets and checked her luggage and hung around the airport until it was time to go through security. When she went through security I left the airport for my 3 hour journey home...all lonely. When I got home I decided that I would like to try and take a nap. I attempted to nap but it didn't work all that well. I think the odds were stacked against me. I got MAYBE an hour of sleep. After my attempt at a nap I had to go watch my little cousins for a little while until my aunt got home from work. When I was done babysitting, I headed back to town for the weekend. Liz and I just hung out for awhile and then she decided that she wanted to go to a party around 10:30, so we headed out to the party at about midnight. I was tired, but I didn't want Liz to drive when she would be drinking so I went anyways. Now lately Liz has been getting more careless when she drinks and doesn't really care about anyone else. Usually I don't say anything about wanting to leave but I was really tired so around 3:30AM I told her that I wanted to leave. She was just about to open a beer before I told her that I was ready to go and she said ok I'm almost ready and then cracked open the beer! At this point I was really upset because she didn't consider how tired I was, the fact that I was the driver, or the fact that I just plain wanted to leave. So I didn't get to go to bed until 5AM and was up for more than 24 hours!

So Saturday I woke up at about 11AM and wasn't all that tired. Liz decided that she wanted to have a party, so we started getting things ready for that. She had people coming over around 8ish and they started playing drinking games. I started getting really tired and not feeling well around 12:30 (I don't drink, I just socialize with everyone), so I went to bed. Around 4AM Liz's sister came in the bedroom and said Liz was going to the hospital with alcohol poisioning. So she went to the hospital and kept asking for me and I just couldn't bring myself to go. Besides the fact that I was really tired, I didn't want to see her like that. They had to sedate her because she was trying to rip iv's out and she was telling the nurses she's a monster and no one loves her. Selfish or not, I just couldn't do it. I'm sorry, but she did it to herself. If she was laying in the hospital because she needed to have surgery or for almost any other reason, I would've been there. She didn't seem to be concerned about me the entire weekend until she wanted/needed someone by her side because she was laying in the hospital, so why should I be concerned about her. Don't get me wrong, I WAS concerned about her and I DO care, but that was what I was thinking at first.

She asked me to go to an AA meeting with her or maybe a couple, just to show my support, but I don't know how I feel about that. I have asked her to think about quitting drinking multiple times before and it even got to the point that I told her we couldn't be friends if she didn't stop. She would tell me that she didn't have a problem, that I needed to mind my own business, and if I thought she had a problem I should go to hell! I am disappointed that it had to get to this point, but I'm glad that she atleast recognized that she has a problem now. I support her, but I can't help but think that this time won't be different, that this time will be like all the others and she won't change. I hope that she does, but I just don't know. I want her to "get better" but I don't know if it will happen. I have a million emotions running through me right now. Emotions from anger because she didn't care , sadness because it got to this point and her family didn't seem to care, disappointment, happiness that she is going to try and almost anything else that you can think of. I just want to look her in the eyes and say I told you so! At this point I feel like I am being cold and seperating myself from her, but that's because I don't know what to say. I don't know how to talk to her at this point. I am usually the friend that people come to for advice because I usually have really good advice, but not this time. I care about her a lot, but it's hard. I don't think that it's easy for her or that it's going to be a cake walk.

On a lighter note, here is my post for the week with Murphy pictures. My sister, two of my little cousins Macy and Alex, and I took Murphy for his first walk. He has a little jacket, so I put it on him and away we went. Toward the end of the walk he was getting chilly so my sister put him in her jacket. So...the pictures this week are of that.

Not that this will be the only post this week, but I had a request to post at least once a week so here it is!

This is Murphy in his little jacket and my sister Kaelyn getting ready for our walk.

This is Murphy and Kaelyn again. He was shivering so she put him in her jacket.

If anyone has any advice for me about the situation with Liz, feel free to pass it on. I'm open to suggestions.

Have a great day!!

Sable :)