Confused...

Ok...I know I'm only about to turn 22 years old and I'm not supposed to have all the answers, but I wish I had a clue what's going on! I feel like everyone that is my friend or claims to be a friend is turning against eachother. One says that the other one uses me and the other one says the same thing about the first one. Who's lying? One? Both? I don't know anymore. I am starting to think that people live life for themselves, that they don't give a hoot about other people. Not that you shouldn't live your life for yourself, but should you step on other people to get what you want? I don't think so. Maybe I am the minority then. They are out to see what they can get from life, to see what they can get from people. It's starting to seem like almost everyone I know is a mooch. They always want one thing or another. Is it fair? Absolutely not! I know that I have a huge heart and would give anything for any of my friends. But their comments towards eachother make me wonder if they would be willing to do the same for me. I would literally give the shirt off my back to any one of my friends in a heart beat, but would they do that for me? I know that not all people are like that, but it makes me wonder. I don't want people to read this and feel sorry for me, but I had to get it out. I have a headache from thinking about it so much. It's like I want to turn my phone off and shut out all of my friends and just be with my family until I figure out who is real and who is fake. At this point I don't know what else to do. I am lost, confused, I feel used, and I don't know what else to do. At nearly 22 years old I have a nicer car then most "kids" my age, I have a decent job, and have lended my friends lots of money totalling hundreds of dollars. Was it the smartest thing to do? Probably not, but we all make mistakes. Some of them have been honest and trustworthy and paid it back, and others never will, but it just goes back to if I was in the same position if they would be all that willing to do the same. I am just fed up at this point. Why do some people feel the need to try and tear others down to bring themselves up? It doesn't make sense to me. Get to where you want to be because you got there on your own, not because you stepped on someone else on the way up!

Well...I think I am done for the night. My head is about to explode.

Sable