I hate snow!

For the record...I do infact hate snow! It snowed again last night/this morning and it just reminded me how much I hate snow. Don't get me wrong, I love living in Wisconsin. I just hate the snow. I know, I know, it's part of the package, but I hate the package just incase anyone cares!

Work is very boring today, and yes I am being paid to type this blog right now because there isn't anyone else here and there is no work to be done. So...I can't even talk to anyone else because there isn't anyone here. So here I sit at my desk listening to the radio online and trying to think of things I can possibly do. I've visited Myspace and Facebook 1,000 times too many today and I've run out of websites to look at. What better time to blog than the present?

Oh! I forgot to mention that my brother might be getting deployed. I am not happy about this, but if it's what he wants then I wish him all the best. He is up for deployment, but he put himself on the volunteer list. They are taking the first 3 volunteers and he is volunteer #4. So if someone backs out or gets disqualified then he gets/has to go (however you want to put it). If he goes he will either be going to Qatar or Kyrgyzstan. Neither are good, but they are better than Iraq or Afghanistan. If I had to pick where he goes I would have to go with Kyrgyzstan. Unfortunately I don't get to pick because if I did he would stay in good ol' Nebraska. I understand that for some military personnel to feel like they are actually serving their country, they want to be in the heat of battle, in the middle of something. I will support my brother no matter what. Am I happy that he volunteered? No but it's not about me. It's about him and what he wants to do. It's his life and he makes the choices. If he does go I will pray harder than I have ever prayed before and hope that he makes it home safe. The kind of good news is that he would go for about 4 months, so compared to the Army's 16 month deployments it should be a cake walk (when comparing the length of time).

Well...I guess I could dig up some more pictures of Murphy because if I don't I know a certain blogger that would probably skin me alive. So these are the pictures that I have chosen for the blog today. Hope you enjoy!!!

He is so photogenic!

He seems to like toys that are twice his size if not bigger.

This is his favorite thing to do. Nap!

Oh look! He happens to be napping again!

Rough Weekend...

So...this weekend was kind of rough. We will start with Thursday. I went to hang out with Sarah in the afternoon on Thursday and help her finish packing for her trip to Nationals in Colorado Springs, CO for boxing. After hanging out with Sarah, I went to Liz's house to make dinner with her and Naquan. We usually have dinner together once a week. It's a little tradition we wanted to get going and we started it about a month or so ago. So after we were done eating I got a frantic call from Sarah saying that her mom was supposed to drive her to the airport in Milwaukee early in the morning on Friday, but she could no longer bring her. I was Sarah's only other option and I had plans. Luckily, I was able to rearrange some things so that I could bring her to the airport. So...I had to hurry up and take a midterm online, find directions to the airport, and go to bed as early as possible because I had to get up at 3AM!! So...I did my midterm, got the directions, and attempted to go to bed around 11:30 but Liz was talking on the phone. She talked on the phone until atleast 12:30AM! That's the last time I remember looking at the clock. I was upset because she knew I had to get up at 3 and still continued to talk on the phone. I had my alarm set for 3AM so of course I woke up at 2:30 and tried falling back to sleep. I would fall asleep and wake up 5 minutes later so I decided to just get up and get ready. I went to Sarah's apartment and helped her carry all her bags and things to the car. We started our 3 hour journey to Milwaukee. I don't like big city driving, so I just about had a meltdown driving through Milwaukee.

So Sarah and I got her tickets and checked her luggage and hung around the airport until it was time to go through security. When she went through security I left the airport for my 3 hour journey home...all lonely. When I got home I decided that I would like to try and take a nap. I attempted to nap but it didn't work all that well. I think the odds were stacked against me. I got MAYBE an hour of sleep. After my attempt at a nap I had to go watch my little cousins for a little while until my aunt got home from work. When I was done babysitting, I headed back to town for the weekend. Liz and I just hung out for awhile and then she decided that she wanted to go to a party around 10:30, so we headed out to the party at about midnight. I was tired, but I didn't want Liz to drive when she would be drinking so I went anyways. Now lately Liz has been getting more careless when she drinks and doesn't really care about anyone else. Usually I don't say anything about wanting to leave but I was really tired so around 3:30AM I told her that I wanted to leave. She was just about to open a beer before I told her that I was ready to go and she said ok I'm almost ready and then cracked open the beer! At this point I was really upset because she didn't consider how tired I was, the fact that I was the driver, or the fact that I just plain wanted to leave. So I didn't get to go to bed until 5AM and was up for more than 24 hours!

So Saturday I woke up at about 11AM and wasn't all that tired. Liz decided that she wanted to have a party, so we started getting things ready for that. She had people coming over around 8ish and they started playing drinking games. I started getting really tired and not feeling well around 12:30 (I don't drink, I just socialize with everyone), so I went to bed. Around 4AM Liz's sister came in the bedroom and said Liz was going to the hospital with alcohol poisioning. So she went to the hospital and kept asking for me and I just couldn't bring myself to go. Besides the fact that I was really tired, I didn't want to see her like that. They had to sedate her because she was trying to rip iv's out and she was telling the nurses she's a monster and no one loves her. Selfish or not, I just couldn't do it. I'm sorry, but she did it to herself. If she was laying in the hospital because she needed to have surgery or for almost any other reason, I would've been there. She didn't seem to be concerned about me the entire weekend until she wanted/needed someone by her side because she was laying in the hospital, so why should I be concerned about her. Don't get me wrong, I WAS concerned about her and I DO care, but that was what I was thinking at first.

She asked me to go to an AA meeting with her or maybe a couple, just to show my support, but I don't know how I feel about that. I have asked her to think about quitting drinking multiple times before and it even got to the point that I told her we couldn't be friends if she didn't stop. She would tell me that she didn't have a problem, that I needed to mind my own business, and if I thought she had a problem I should go to hell! I am disappointed that it had to get to this point, but I'm glad that she atleast recognized that she has a problem now. I support her, but I can't help but think that this time won't be different, that this time will be like all the others and she won't change. I hope that she does, but I just don't know. I want her to "get better" but I don't know if it will happen. I have a million emotions running through me right now. Emotions from anger because she didn't care , sadness because it got to this point and her family didn't seem to care, disappointment, happiness that she is going to try and almost anything else that you can think of. I just want to look her in the eyes and say I told you so! At this point I feel like I am being cold and seperating myself from her, but that's because I don't know what to say. I don't know how to talk to her at this point. I am usually the friend that people come to for advice because I usually have really good advice, but not this time. I care about her a lot, but it's hard. I don't think that it's easy for her or that it's going to be a cake walk.

On a lighter note, here is my post for the week with Murphy pictures. My sister, two of my little cousins Macy and Alex, and I took Murphy for his first walk. He has a little jacket, so I put it on him and away we went. Toward the end of the walk he was getting chilly so my sister put him in her jacket. So...the pictures this week are of that.

Not that this will be the only post this week, but I had a request to post at least once a week so here it is!

This is Murphy in his little jacket and my sister Kaelyn getting ready for our walk.

This is Murphy and Kaelyn again. He was shivering so she put him in her jacket.

If anyone has any advice for me about the situation with Liz, feel free to pass it on. I'm open to suggestions.

Have a great day!!

Sable :)

I am back once again! This could be a long one!

I know, I know, it's been forever and a day since I've posted. Okay, well not FOREVER, but long enough. School is going good, I'm only going half time this semester which, I now know, was a really good choice. At the beginning of the semester, when signing up for classes, I wasn't so sure that it was the right choice, but it was the only option I had other than not going at all and taking a semester off. When I go full time (which is 12 credits) I just feel swamped. Like I can't do anything else because I don't have time. I also work 16 hours a week for the same college that I attend, and I babysit 2 full days a week for my aunt's kids.

I am a people pleaser and I try to make everyone happy no matter what I have to do to do it. I want to make my mom, grandma, and the rest of my family happy by going to school and finishing my degree. I want to make my friends happy, so I hang out with them when ever they ask, even if I shouldn't because I don't really have the money. Sarah and Liz (the two friends I hang out with most) live about 35 miles from me, so everytime I go to hang out, it costs me quite a bit. I don't know why, but I just feel like I have to make everyone happy. Most of the time it's what makes me happy. I enjoy to see others happy (who really likes to see people unhappy? I know, there are cruel people out there who like to see people in pain and squirm and such.)

This weekend for instance, Liz was gone to Chicago all weekend, so I was left to find something to do with myself for an entire weekend. Liz and I are best friends and have been for about 5 years now. We usually hang out all weekend, and when I say all weekend I do mean ALL WEEKEND! We are together from the time she gets out of school on Friday until late Sunday night. It's just what we do, we are partners in crime. Well, you get the point. So...she didn't leave for Chicago until early Saturday morning so I headed "into town" (which is what I call it since I don't consider my little hometown a town at all) to hang out with Liz. So, back to my people pleasing. I went into town to hang out with Liz and we hung out with another one of our friends that stopped over for a little bit. While I was at Liz's, Sarah called and wanted to see Murphy, so I went over to her house for a little bit. Now, sometimes I don't think before I do things and I just went over to Sarah's as soon as she called and asked me to stop over. Thinking back on the choice I made, I probably hurt Liz's feelings. I mean I WAS at her house and we WERE hanging out, but I'm with her every weekend so I guess I thought she would understand.

Anyways, on Saturday I decided I wanted to hang out with my family (something I very much enjoy). We had been planning our annual sledding party, and it just so happenend that Saturday was the day. PERFECT!! So I slept in (yes Murphy actually let me sleep in! I was shocked myself!!) and then I went to the sledding party. It was an all day event. Food on the grill, snacks, soda, campfire and all. Eventhough I didn't go sledding, it was fun to watch all of the kids and even the grown ups sledding. I took pictures and videos and just visited with everyone. It was a really good time.

Sunday was another day where I was into people pleasing again. Sarah is going to nationals in Colorado Springs, CO for boxing for a week. After her trip to nationals, she is flying back into Milwaukee for a few hours and flying out to Florida for a spring break type trip for another week. So...I was asked to help her pack for both trips, and I happily agreed. Now, this doesn't sound like a big deal, a friendly gesture. We went shopping to pick up some last minute things for her trip and she was getting crabby(I was then getting crabby because I thought I was being the nice friend by helping and then I was getting crabbed at for it). I then offered to do the dishes in her sink! Why you ask?! Because they had been there for a long time and she was going to throw them away! You shouldn't thrown a bunch of perfectly good dishes away just because you don't want to wash them. What a waste of money! In the evening we wanted to do something nice for Sarah's mom, so we brought food out to her house and cooked her a nice meal of Chicken Breasts on the grill, corn, and salad. It was really nice. I brough Murphy with so he could play with Sarah's little brothers Eli and Jacob. They just love him to pieces.

Like I said before, I don't know why I feel the need to people please, but I do it. I want to make everyone happy all the time and I know it's not possible. Most of the time, what makes other people happy, makes me happy, I don't know. Lately I am just so confused. One of my friends, I will not mention the name, likes girls. This doesn't bother me, it truely doesn't, but she confuses me. Sometimes she says things like "babe" or "hun", or says she misses me (which normally I wouldn't think twice about, but considering the circumstances, I do tend to think about it a little more). It just makes me wonder what she means, I am just confused. I am not closed minded, and I have never had any experiences with girls, and I know that people say that when you're young you experiment and things, but I just don't know. I might be bisexual, I'm not really sure. It is so weird to type that, because I have never even said that before.

Well, potty training with Murphy has been going pretty good. He has been to the vet 3 times since I've had him and he's gotten 2 shots. He is a very good little boy, hyper almost all the time, but he's a puppy. He loves kids, and loves being by me. He is my little sidekick. When I take a shower, he sits in the bathroom and waits for me to get done, and when I sleep, he sleeps with me. When I have to put him in his cage it makes me sad and I just don't like it at all. I wish I could keep him out all day and he wouldn't pee in the house. It'll be so nice when he is fully house trained/potty trained (whichever you would like to call it). So, there has been a request for new puppy pics and you better bet that I will come through for you on this one Hallie! So here they are! I have tons, so if you would like even more, I could email them to you. Just ask!!!

This one is Murphy and his "girlfriend" Molly. He decided that he wanted to sleep on the big dog pillow. One that is about 10 times his size. Guess he thinks he is a big dog.

This is Murphy when I took him to work with me one day. He just poses for the camera so nice!

This is Murphy at work with mom. He fell asleep on my desk calendar.

Here is my little boy posing again! He loves his little camo t-shirt.

This is Murphy and Sarah. He is her "baby".

This is Murphy with his Bob the Builder glasses a.k.a. beer goggles on.

And last but not least, this is Murphy with Auntie Liz. He is quite the ladies man, let me tell you!

Hope you enjoy!!!